And... now we have an Agency!

Picking an adoption agency is like picking a realtor; a realtor who will ask you to get finger printed, learn personal information about your marriage, and interview your friends and co-workers about your ability to be a parent. When most people decide to have a baby they have unprotected sex and then go out and buy a pregnancy test. And...it works. Not so much for us, but you've already heard about all of that. Now we are on the road to adoption. And so far it hasn't been too rough of a road, but we pretty much just got in the car and backed out of our driveway.

For much of June and July, we met with adoption agencies around Denver. There are plenty of them! We met with five: Bethany Christian Services, Hope's Promise, Adoption Options, Lutheran Family Services, and Colorado Christian Services.

These are the types of questions we learned to ask:
-How many waiting couples do you currently have? (This varied from 10-50.)
-How long is the usual wait for a child? (18-24 months, on average.)
-What are your fees? ($21,000-$27,000 depending on the agency.)
-Do you charge more for twins? (Some do! And some did not.)
-What are the demographics of your birth mothers? (In Colorado they are typically Caucasian, but can be Native-American, Hispanic or African-American.)
- How quickly are you able to complete a home study? (Between 3-6 months, depending on the agency.)
-How do you advertise? (Websites, bars, churches, Planned Parenthood, etc.)
-How many placements do you have a year? (5-30, depending on the size of the agency.)
-Are couples put on a list and shown as they reach the top, or are they shown as soon as they are approved? (varied)
-Do you use profile books or videos? (varied)
-What is your required level of openness with the birth mother and/or father? (Mainly open or semi-open.)

We decided that a domestic infant adoption is what would work best for us. We want to have a baby. Domestic infant adoptions allow you to have a connection with a child from the day they leave the hospital. Also, international adoptions are declining and looked like a riskier option that would not work as well for us. Foster-to-adopt programs through the county are free, but the children are often older and come from difficult circumstances. Someday we might be ready to take that on, but not now.
All of the agencies we met with offer domestic infant adoptions. We did not leave a single meeting feeling like the agency would be a poor choice. Thankfully and prayerfully though, we decided that Colorado Christian Services was the best choice for us. CCS is a small agency. The hubs and I chose to attend a college of less than 2,000 people. We like small. CCS has three very-experienced case workers, two for the adoptive couples and one for the birth parents. They cap the number of waiting couples they work with at 10 and usually have 5-10 placements a year. With so few couples, they really get to know you and won't make you feel like a number (which is the same thing my college admissions counselor told me!).  Their fees, though comparable, were less than the other agencies we met with. When I looked on-line at reviews it became clear that this small, Christian agency, is out to serve birth parents and adoptive families equally and that they do it incredibly well. The fact that they are religious was important to me. They believe that God has a specific child that is meant to be placed with us.  It is comforting and familiar to be able to pray with our caseworker and know that she has also gone through infertility and adoption. Unlike so many of our friends and family (who are awesome!) our case worker gets it.
I also liked that they are located only five miles from our house- Denver's rush hour is misery!

Once we decided on CCS, our next step was to attend their 17-hour, mandatory training. They offer this two times a year. Luckily, they happened to have one in August. The training was so thoughtfully organized and personalized to each of the couple's experiences that the hubs and I both felt safe, cared for,and informed. There were five other couples in the training with us. Some had already been matched with babies and some were just starting out like us. One of the couples was deaf so we were able to watch the translators during the presentations, too, which was interesting. We learned how to put on a diaper, how to make formula, what to expect at the hospital, how to create a profile book, what purple crying is (the sign for crying is what you would imagine, but looks so funny when a 40-year-old translator does it!), and so much more. The most meaningful parts of the training were the opportunities to meet a birth mother and an adoptive couple. They shared their stories and let us ask any questions we had. We gained so much respect for birth mothers and came to see the value of an open or semi-open adoption for all involved. The adoptive couple let us know that the love they feel for their adoptive daughter is equal to that for their older, biological daughter. I imagined that it would be, but it was still comforting to hear.

In the two weeks that have passed since our training, we have both had physicals, been finger printed, sent in criminal background release forms, filled out about 15 other forms and had them notarized. We have also decided on references, gathered copies of our marriage and birth certificates, signed up for CPR/First Aid classes, and drawn a floor plan of our house with the square-footage. Some of these seem like things every new parent should do, and some just seem silly, but it all brings us one step closer to our baby. Once our background checks come back to the agency we will be able to begin the official Home Study. This will consist of a series of interviews with our caseworker and an inspection of our home. During that time we will also have professional photos taken (season neutral!), create a profile book, and write a letter to the birth mother to be placed on CCS's website. The road to adoption will probably be a long one, but we are packed and ready to go.

We greatly appreciate your prayers during this process. If you would like to learn more about Colorado Christian Services, their website is https://www.christianservices.org/ .